The Eyes

I work with three blind people.  I think our director has a fear of becoming blind because he knows as a non-profit employee he will never have the money it takes to restore his sight.  This is why he hires them-it is to appease the Gods or in his case just one plain God.  I find it hard to believe there is just one God, but weirder things have happened.

Working with blind people freaks me out.  I can say this because my moms legally blind in one eye.  One of them Donna Gray has a dog she named Willow after a tree.  It makes me think of that moviee with the midgets and normal size baby they must protect-also freaky!  One time I was petting Willow and a seeer (this what I call people who can see) told me "don't pet her, shes working!".

I asked working on what?

Don't you see she has her harness on?

Yes

That means she's working and you can't pet her.

But she's a pet.

Not when her harness is on.

I just walked away.  What does a harness have to do with anything?

The blind guy I work with isn't as popular as you might think.  It's either because they are blind and can't see how attractive he is or they are lesbians?  I haven't yet decide which it is but I'm hoping they are lesbians.  I hope this mostly because we are a non-profit and don't have a single lesbian working here.  I'm pretty sure we get made fun behind other non-profits closed doors.  He wears sunglasses year round. My office mate says this is because when you are born blind you can't learn to focus your eyes and it is embarrassing for them.  I think they just must not be trying hard enough.  I mean how hard could it be to learn how to hold your eyes still?  Whatever!, at least he's got cool sun glasses.  He's my favorite out of the three.

Donna Gray talks a lot.  She waited until she was 49 to get married; still could be gay in my opinion, after all this is late in years to be getting married.  She tells me about her husband a lot.  I cant help myself from questioning how they decided they were into each other.  I always know at first glance, but I guess they have to get to know each other first or something.  I don't think these things about deaf people or people who are legally blind in only one eye.

I have a friend from college who only had one eye...in all our pictures one of the eyes is always bigger than the other.  I always found myself guessing if it was the prosthetic eye or her natural eye.  Even with one eye bigger than the other, she was always prettier than me...she was tall and blond.  I came close one time to asking her if I could see the eye, but I passed out from drinking too much and didn't remember my plans to ask her until just now.

I remember now because the third blind person at work has two prosthetic eyes and one day it fell out.  My friend Judith was talking to her and it just popped right out and rolled on the floor in front of her.  Judith said it wasn't funny to laugh at this, but I couldn't help myself.  Not because it popped out or because she is blind did I think it was funny, but because how do you clean a prosthetic eye?  Does CVS sale an Alka-Seltzer type solution you soak it in over night?  And what about her dog when he's not wearing a harness, does he think its a ball and run after it?  My dog would.

My mom had a detached retina from lifting books in the library where she works.  It is ironic this happened in a library where you need eyes to read unless of course you know Braille.  She is really bummed about it and I wonder if she too might start hiring people who are blind in both eyes to boost her karma.