I tried calling customer service for help today. They had previously told me my internet account would be active by 8pm today. They lied.
The guy who came on the telephone to help me was also an ass; a complete ass really. Condescending lil guy! I am making assumptions about his size because it makes me feel better about myself. If he were a tall normal looking guy my ego would be bruised and I would need to resort to yelling at him to make up for this. I prefer visualizing vs yelling.
His name was Paul. Paul asked me for my telephone number. I gave it to him for verification. Then he said "how old are you, you sound young". What do sounds have to do with fixing my internet?! Plus Paul sounded in his early 20's and this pissed me off. Why are people hiring these lazy 20somethings. I answered the question and gave my age "I'm not I just sound it. Im 25". He replied with confidence "oh we are almost the same age". It is like he wanted me to believe it was a positive thing that he was a guy my age...like he secretly hoped we would connect in some way and I would give him my number for real.
My problem was "The red lights blinking. How do I get it to stop so I can use my internet?". Pauls' answer was long and never to the point. It made no sense and he clearly had never taking a speech communication class because he said "um" like a billion times. He also said my name a billion more times. It was as if he thought I was incapable of understanding that he was addressing me unless he clearly and specifically used my name at every possible point in the conversation.
I was fired up. I said "Look playa you told me 8pm! It's already 9. The tech guy called me and said its ready to go!! Why isn't it working? Just give me a simple reason! And stop saying my name!" I don't know why I said playa. He most definitely sounded Asian on the phone, minus the first generational accent. And who has ever known an Asian with swag. I then magined Paul for a brief second having a blue supped up Honda Civic with red rims because he couldn't afford an accord and this made me feel better about loosing my visual and yelling instead.
His response "umm Miss I already explained the situation to you". I kept thinking just stop talking already and fix the damn thing. He was not able to fix it over the phone. Instead he scheduled me for a 4hr window of time a technician could come by my house on a Sunday. It's almost 10pm now and I still have no internet connection. I thought Asians were suppose to be smart. Now all I'm left with is frustration because I can't check my facebook and a belief that my stereotype was completely unfounded and wrong! Which are both very upsetting for an American. If he had been a 30something man I am positive I would not be wasting four hours of my next Sunday.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The Eyes
I work with three blind people. I think our director has a fear of becoming blind because he knows as a non-profit employee he will never have the money it takes to restore his sight. This is why he hires them-it is to appease the Gods or in his case just one plain God. I find it hard to believe there is just one God, but weirder things have happened.
Working with blind people freaks me out. I can say this because my moms legally blind in one eye. One of them Donna Gray has a dog she named Willow after a tree. It makes me think of that moviee with the midgets and normal size baby they must protect-also freaky! One time I was petting Willow and a seeer (this what I call people who can see) told me "don't pet her, shes working!".
I asked working on what?
Don't you see she has her harness on?
Yes
That means she's working and you can't pet her.
But she's a pet.
Not when her harness is on.
I just walked away. What does a harness have to do with anything?
The blind guy I work with isn't as popular as you might think. It's either because they are blind and can't see how attractive he is or they are lesbians? I haven't yet decide which it is but I'm hoping they are lesbians. I hope this mostly because we are a non-profit and don't have a single lesbian working here. I'm pretty sure we get made fun behind other non-profits closed doors. He wears sunglasses year round. My office mate says this is because when you are born blind you can't learn to focus your eyes and it is embarrassing for them. I think they just must not be trying hard enough. I mean how hard could it be to learn how to hold your eyes still? Whatever!, at least he's got cool sun glasses. He's my favorite out of the three.
Donna Gray talks a lot. She waited until she was 49 to get married; still could be gay in my opinion, after all this is late in years to be getting married. She tells me about her husband a lot. I cant help myself from questioning how they decided they were into each other. I always know at first glance, but I guess they have to get to know each other first or something. I don't think these things about deaf people or people who are legally blind in only one eye.
I have a friend from college who only had one eye...in all our pictures one of the eyes is always bigger than the other. I always found myself guessing if it was the prosthetic eye or her natural eye. Even with one eye bigger than the other, she was always prettier than me...she was tall and blond. I came close one time to asking her if I could see the eye, but I passed out from drinking too much and didn't remember my plans to ask her until just now.
I remember now because the third blind person at work has two prosthetic eyes and one day it fell out. My friend Judith was talking to her and it just popped right out and rolled on the floor in front of her. Judith said it wasn't funny to laugh at this, but I couldn't help myself. Not because it popped out or because she is blind did I think it was funny, but because how do you clean a prosthetic eye? Does CVS sale an Alka-Seltzer type solution you soak it in over night? And what about her dog when he's not wearing a harness, does he think its a ball and run after it? My dog would.
My mom had a detached retina from lifting books in the library where she works. It is ironic this happened in a library where you need eyes to read unless of course you know Braille. She is really bummed about it and I wonder if she too might start hiring people who are blind in both eyes to boost her karma.
Working with blind people freaks me out. I can say this because my moms legally blind in one eye. One of them Donna Gray has a dog she named Willow after a tree. It makes me think of that moviee with the midgets and normal size baby they must protect-also freaky! One time I was petting Willow and a seeer (this what I call people who can see) told me "don't pet her, shes working!".
I asked working on what?
Don't you see she has her harness on?
Yes
That means she's working and you can't pet her.
But she's a pet.
Not when her harness is on.
I just walked away. What does a harness have to do with anything?
The blind guy I work with isn't as popular as you might think. It's either because they are blind and can't see how attractive he is or they are lesbians? I haven't yet decide which it is but I'm hoping they are lesbians. I hope this mostly because we are a non-profit and don't have a single lesbian working here. I'm pretty sure we get made fun behind other non-profits closed doors. He wears sunglasses year round. My office mate says this is because when you are born blind you can't learn to focus your eyes and it is embarrassing for them. I think they just must not be trying hard enough. I mean how hard could it be to learn how to hold your eyes still? Whatever!, at least he's got cool sun glasses. He's my favorite out of the three.
Donna Gray talks a lot. She waited until she was 49 to get married; still could be gay in my opinion, after all this is late in years to be getting married. She tells me about her husband a lot. I cant help myself from questioning how they decided they were into each other. I always know at first glance, but I guess they have to get to know each other first or something. I don't think these things about deaf people or people who are legally blind in only one eye.
I have a friend from college who only had one eye...in all our pictures one of the eyes is always bigger than the other. I always found myself guessing if it was the prosthetic eye or her natural eye. Even with one eye bigger than the other, she was always prettier than me...she was tall and blond. I came close one time to asking her if I could see the eye, but I passed out from drinking too much and didn't remember my plans to ask her until just now.
I remember now because the third blind person at work has two prosthetic eyes and one day it fell out. My friend Judith was talking to her and it just popped right out and rolled on the floor in front of her. Judith said it wasn't funny to laugh at this, but I couldn't help myself. Not because it popped out or because she is blind did I think it was funny, but because how do you clean a prosthetic eye? Does CVS sale an Alka-Seltzer type solution you soak it in over night? And what about her dog when he's not wearing a harness, does he think its a ball and run after it? My dog would.
My mom had a detached retina from lifting books in the library where she works. It is ironic this happened in a library where you need eyes to read unless of course you know Braille. She is really bummed about it and I wonder if she too might start hiring people who are blind in both eyes to boost her karma.
Monday, March 28, 2011
99 Cents
I've heard my dad say I remember when a coke was 10cents. My mom never says things like this because she was poor. She does talk about getting underwear and oranges for Christmas in a nylon stalking though. I find this to be equally as fascinating and removed as 10cents for coke that comes in a glass bottle. I wish I could buy a glassed bottle of coke for 10cents and I also wonder if the nylons were new or used.
The closest I can come to 10cents for anything substantial is a store where everything is 99cents. AKA the 99 cent store. I don't like telling people I shop there because I don't want them to think I'm poor. I'm usually the only white person there besides the old lady buying food. I always assume she buys her food there so she wont have to buy cat food at VONS grocery; PETSMART is too expensive.
I don't buy my food there. My mom told me it comes from Mexico and other dirty places. She told me I might get worms from eating it. Worms sound horrible. I don't want to get worms. I imagine them coming out of my butt and when I try to pick them out, they suddenly suck back in; it makes my butt hurt just thinking about it. Then one day at VONS I saw that their tomatoes came from Mexico. Now I'm less paranoid about it and I bought some oranges for 99cents one day. They weren't bad.
Candy! I love to buy candy at the 99cents store...and jiffy pop too! Do you remember Jiffy Pop?!? Jiffy Pop, popcorn! I am convinced the candy is old movie store candy they never sold so it ends up at the 99cent store. I am convicned of this because it comes in the same display container as the ones you buy at the movies! Nothing taste better than candy from a cardboard box.
Trash bags, deodorant, lotion, sometimes shampoo, but never toothpaste I also buy for 99cents.
Theres something about putting your trash in a trash bang with a red pull tie for 99cents that makes me feeling better about producing trash. Not to mention 99cents Secret deodorant that keeps me from sweating body odor while taking out that trash. Plus taking a shower that when I get out my Jergens coconut scented lotion I did not pay 3.75 for will be waiting for me to lather on is a delight. Sometimes I even match a 99cent Suave coconut shampoo to go with it. I use to even buy my toothpaste there, but then I thought what if its made in China and Ive never bought it again for 99cents.
I'm not sure why I love buying things for 99cents. Maybe its because it makes me feel closer to my parents and their childhood. Maybe the idea of being the only white person makes me feel accepting of other cultures and brave. Maybe I'm Cheap or like to save. Whatever the reason, I'm thankful there is at least one store left in the United States where I get my moneys worth!
The closest I can come to 10cents for anything substantial is a store where everything is 99cents. AKA the 99 cent store. I don't like telling people I shop there because I don't want them to think I'm poor. I'm usually the only white person there besides the old lady buying food. I always assume she buys her food there so she wont have to buy cat food at VONS grocery; PETSMART is too expensive.
I don't buy my food there. My mom told me it comes from Mexico and other dirty places. She told me I might get worms from eating it. Worms sound horrible. I don't want to get worms. I imagine them coming out of my butt and when I try to pick them out, they suddenly suck back in; it makes my butt hurt just thinking about it. Then one day at VONS I saw that their tomatoes came from Mexico. Now I'm less paranoid about it and I bought some oranges for 99cents one day. They weren't bad.
Candy! I love to buy candy at the 99cents store...and jiffy pop too! Do you remember Jiffy Pop?!? Jiffy Pop, popcorn! I am convinced the candy is old movie store candy they never sold so it ends up at the 99cent store. I am convicned of this because it comes in the same display container as the ones you buy at the movies! Nothing taste better than candy from a cardboard box.
Trash bags, deodorant, lotion, sometimes shampoo, but never toothpaste I also buy for 99cents.
Theres something about putting your trash in a trash bang with a red pull tie for 99cents that makes me feeling better about producing trash. Not to mention 99cents Secret deodorant that keeps me from sweating body odor while taking out that trash. Plus taking a shower that when I get out my Jergens coconut scented lotion I did not pay 3.75 for will be waiting for me to lather on is a delight. Sometimes I even match a 99cent Suave coconut shampoo to go with it. I use to even buy my toothpaste there, but then I thought what if its made in China and Ive never bought it again for 99cents.
I'm not sure why I love buying things for 99cents. Maybe its because it makes me feel closer to my parents and their childhood. Maybe the idea of being the only white person makes me feel accepting of other cultures and brave. Maybe I'm Cheap or like to save. Whatever the reason, I'm thankful there is at least one store left in the United States where I get my moneys worth!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
I'm oddly humored with simplistic beauty and satire in all that I do-or so I am told. Not everyone likes me-although I'm told everyone likes me. In fact, I'm convinced some even use me and secretly hate me. This doesn't always strengthen me, but it does give me more to write about.
So after many years of hidden short story writings I have decided in a life where....
I will let you fill in the blank since I figure life is too complex to peg "in a life where" as having a single distinct meaning. And to be honest all I really care about is the meaning I have chosen to define life with. Basically life is short and its moments shorter, and so are my stories so enjoy it and don,t wait too long to figure it all out.
Get IT together People, I don't have all day!
So after many years of hidden short story writings I have decided in a life where....
I will let you fill in the blank since I figure life is too complex to peg "in a life where" as having a single distinct meaning. And to be honest all I really care about is the meaning I have chosen to define life with. Basically life is short and its moments shorter, and so are my stories so enjoy it and don,t wait too long to figure it all out.
Get IT together People, I don't have all day!
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